Personally, I try to snoop and find out if the party-thrower is one of those No Shoes people beforehand so that I can make a mental note to never go to their home. Stumbling around someone’s doorway trying to untie a boot and ten being made to smell the sweat between everyone else’s toes is the most humiliating thing ever to me.

The only exception is my best friend Yao, because she’s Chinese and that’s What They Do and we’ve known each other for 20 years and it’s a habit now. But if I don’t know you like that? Nuh uh. You don’t get to see my feet in a vulnerable position yet.