last night at dinner kim said i was a condescending person, especially to service people, and now i am being completely obsessive and neurotic about it. like, okay i know i am the lewis black of all of my friends, but i am not condescending. when i am in a restaurant i always say please and thank you, i never make unreasonable demands, and i tip at least 30%. but kim says apparently when i ask for things i shouldn’t say it like:

“excuse me, can i have some more ketchup please? thank you.”

but should say it like

“hi, um, sorry but can i please have more ketchup? is that okay?  sorry. thank you!”

that is some bullshit. what am i apologizing for? asking for more ketchup, or getting the check is not really that big of a favor. i don’t know what i have to be sorry for, no one has done anything wrong in the server-customer relationship; i just need more ketchup.

whatever, i am a nice and good person. really, i am.