i work in a law office. this week we have been entertaning a very wealthy chinese client and her son. the son is 11 and is friends with the children of my boss, but since the kids go to school during the day, he usually has to sit in my office on the computer while his mother and my boss attend meetings. kevin is a nice kid, but:

a. he is crazy

b. he might have scabies

c. he is eating me out of house and home.

kevin is “that” kid, who asks really rude questions to adults and pleads for people he doesn’t know to buy him things. i’ve been taking him to lunch for the past two days and the first day he picked denny’s: i’m trying to watch my figure of course so i settled on a bacon and cheese omelet and coke, while kevin absorbed an entire milkshake, an entire soda, an entire buffalo chicken sandwich, a plate full of fries covered in cheese and bacon, a side of ranch, and the pancakes that came with my meal. THAT SHIT COST ME LIKE THIRTY FUCKING DOLLARS. but what can you do? he’s your client’s kid, shut up, smile, try not to think about your credit card bill that’s due next week.

today was day 2. when kevin was asked where he’d like to get food today, he picked the fucking OLIVE GARDEN. luckily, his mom was right behind him with sixty bucks (!) to cover the whole thing, and wouldn’t let me give her back the ten dollars in change. yeah, we spent 50 bucks at olive garden. bitch wanted an appetizer, meal, soup, salad, AND dessert. i had a more modest glazed chicken and tortellini. that shit was good. then when we got back, my boss gave me 40 bucks for yesterday’s lunch and gas! i felt like ferris bueller.

anyway, the point is, my client’s kid is sort of a fatass-in-the-making. but he got me 50 bucks in cash to do nothing but eat out and talk about video games, so maybe i should be thankful. also, he killed a MONSTER cockroach that was the size of my fist.